quarkythoughts

My Three Greatest Fears!

Posted on: April 21, 2011

Once upon a time, I was afraid of The Devil.

Well?  That fear didn’t stop me from creating a short film about The Devil, cleverly named, (I thought) The Devil Wears Falsies. I wrote, produced, directed and edited this six-minute short satire about the A-Z continuum of how The Devil can sneak into one’s life and wreak havoc. (My goal was to have fun learning about the craft of film-making.)

During the three months of this creative process, I started noticing weird things happening… crazy weird, and almost scary. You want the specifics? Okay, here’s a few-

1. I got rear-ended in my car.

2. A huge area of my new hardwood floors warped from a washing machine flood.

3. I had a scary (clear as real!!) dream that I was being tossed about above my bed. The only reason I didn’t go flying across my bedroom was that the sleeve of my favorite red long-johns was stuck between the mattresses.

4. My daughter climbed in bed one morning to cuddle and started whispering “six, six, six.” Holy Magnolia!!! When I asked her what she was talking about she innocently replied, “Oh, I’m just talking about how I am six years old.”

Well, a few drops of holy water later, all returned to normal.  The binding prayers helped too, I’m certain. Well, and the real clincher could have been when The Devil read over my shoulder as I opened my sweet, gentle rejection letter from the Sundance Film Festival. Ha, no threat there!

Alas, one day I came across information about the Law of Attraction and in my “Rorschach” world where we inhabitants get to interpret the meaning of life from our perspective I saw the Light instantly. I saw how my thoughts, words, and actions regarding my film Attracted crazy events into my life. I had a nice little chronic vibration (suffice it to say, a large population of the world does too!) going on about the devil. I inadvertently activated a vibrational frequency regarding  this issue and according to the laws of the Universe I received manifested evidence of It.

Once upon a time I had a fear of the “Birds and the Bees.”

Well, let me clarify… As a (micro-managing, control-freak) mother, I fear this subject coming up before I’m ready. I have two girls (8 & 10 YOA) and the onslaught of inappropriate information seems to come at me from all sides. It wears me out just trying to filter! I’m afraid of not knowing what to say and how to say it. Afraid of saying too much (my personal Achilles tendon)… saying not enough… Grossing them out! Opening up a can of worms!

For the longest time, I had a Good Misrepresentation Of The Facts going on about how babies are born. My girls had the idea that doctors somehow just took the babies from the tummy since a friend or two had delivered with C-sections. I thought I could milk that for all it was worth until they asked more pointed questions…. Hold this thought for a minute while I address… my next fear.

Once upon a time I had have a fear that my husband will never use the TV remote the way God intended….

Or at least, he’s not as fast as me “on the draw.” He thinks I’m a little overboard with my “Momma-rigged” hip holster for carrying the remote at all times. You see, I’ve been put on the planet to save my girls from every visual and auditory second of inappropriate content. (I secretly plan to move the family to a remote island off the coast of Africa next month. Wish me luck!)

So, occasionally I entrust him with the remote control during commercials. Oh he just thinks I’ve left to start the dishwasher, never really aware that his trigger reflex is being tested. Really, I don’t mean to brag but I can hear an inappropriate commercial coming from a mile away- before it even starts! That’s just how good I am. And channel surfing? It’s simply out of the question. We mothers know how few milliseconds it takes to burn a provocative image into the child’s mind-that leads to questions- that lead to uncomfortable squirming of the worst kind- that leads to… well, we all know what that leads to…

Once upon a time,  in the same Time and Space continuum, my three worst fears…

A few months ago I hosted a small business meeting at my house while my husband and the girls stayed in the front room, watching TV. My business partner and I were discussing an exciting new (Change The World) product with a few engineers. Somehow, my story of the trials and tribulations surrounding my devil film came up as my business partner was standing up to leave. I thought, “What a nice opportunity to tell these guys how it’s all about the Law of Attraction and not about the devil after all.” (i.e. let me project My Truths on a small group of unsuspecting people and bring them an iota of comfort about evillllll!)

Minutes later, as my business partner hugged my neck, she wrangled me in a warning hold to whisper, “Stop with the story, you are scaring them.” That’s weird. I wasn’t afraid. Why should they be?”

I quickly changed the subject, walked them all to the door and we all said our “Good-byes.”

Three seconds later- I opened the door to the front room to find my husband and two girls watching-

On TV screen-

Setting: Hospital Delivery Room

Action: Very pregnant mom pushing during childbirth, or should I say DEVIL BIRTH!

You guessed it! My dear, sweet, otherwise perfect, remote-control “challenged” husband had my precious angels watching a reality TV show that involved a practical joke. I entered the room just in time to see the mother push a little red devil child out across the room.

Hmmm. Did my short discussion minutes earlier activate a vibrational frequency within me so I couldn’t help but receive manifestation in my reality??? What do you think?

BTW… I’ve shifted through those fears and now I’m on to other things… like whether or not a huge chunk of Antarctica really will melt loose and cause the Earth to tilt on its axis… I better shut up while I’m still on dry land!!! Think I’ll go choose a happier thought if it’s the LAUGH thing I do!

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2 Responses to "My Three Greatest Fears!"

Fears are little bugaboos, aren’t they? They can so get ahold of you to where you’re obsessed. They get in the way of living; they get in the way of enjoying life and focusing on what we want in life. When Roosevelt (Frankline Delano) spoke on the radio that the “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” there was never a more profound thing said!!

Reaching for that thought that brings relief from where you’re at, which leads to another relieving thought, then another, is so grand. Remembering that you actually have that option is sometimes the hardest part!! 🙂

Keep up the great work, Quirky/Quarky Girl!!

Love, Amy

Hi Amy,

Funny how dwelling on, talking about, perseverating on our fears can bring about unwanted experiences. You are right-on about reaching for that thought of relief. And don’t forget that if we can’t find a relieving thought about our fears, then we just need ANY improved thought or feeling. (go for a walk, put on some nice music….) OR, as I love to think… Choose a Happy Thought if it’s the LAUGH thing you do!

Blessings- QQG

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