quarkythoughts

Posts Tagged ‘Target

My "You get what you ask for" Target receipt!I am a self-proclaimed “Annual Shopper,” whether I need anything new or not. No excuses. It’s just not my thing.

That’s right, I venture into a store about once a year and only under the pressure of last-minute vacation preparations.

So, about a year ago I loaded my cart at Target with a wide array of necessities on the eve of our summer vacation. Guess you could call me a “tosser” and a “thrower.” You know the kind who can work the aisle like there’s no tomorrow and make split-decisions in a heartbeat. (I’ve been known to toss a pair of Crocs over an aisle in the shoe department and still ring the cart.) And I NEVER, EVER keep a running mental tab of what I’ll be paying at the register. That would be way too responsible!!!

Here we go. I’m rolling up to the cash register and I pray out loud, “Lord, please don’t let this be over $400.00.”

Minutes later the cashier’s jaw dropped and she said, “Do you see the total?”

$399.99

We shared a burst of excited shrieks (you’d think I’d just won $400 instead of losing it in a period of 5 minutes) and I immediately moaned, “Oh, why didn’t I say $200.00?”

Note to self: Be careful what I ask for!

Wait! Mwah, ha, ha, ha. I shall use my new powers on the unsuspecting world.

1. The jerk next door– “Lord, please don’t let him be the nicest person in the world!” Maybe that’ll make him one cent shy of being Mr. Wonderful? (i.e. maybe now he’ll mow his grass at 7:30 a.m. instead of 6:30 a.m. I sheep you not!)

2. My kids’ messy rooms– “Lord, please don’t let them pick up all their toys!” Maybe that’ll leave only the two-inch plastic skateboard won from the arcade. (you know the one- it cost about $20 and 100 red tickets)

3. World peace– “Lord, please let there be 100% world peace tonight.” Maybe that’ll get me about 99% peace throughout the planet? Wait! Check! Mark that one off the list.  I’m convinced our world is ALREADY 99% wonderful! Yes, I believe the Media gives 99% air time and attention to the 1% of dysfunction in this world, creating an illusion of a completely Whacked Out, Crazy Planet . Hmmm, think I’ll make shopping my new Every Day Event and become a certified, Annual Newswatcher.

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